my darling max

2011 - 2024

It's hard to believe you were ever this small, but when you first came home you really were tiny. I was away on a school trip and recieved both of these pictures in a letter from my parents; I couldn't believe we had gotten a new puppy, and that he was this cute! A West Highland Terrier (crossed with something, a mystery I'm sure we'll never solve), my brother picked you out. You'd already grown much bigger by the time I got home.

The gentle, more easy going counterpart to our older, stubborn (typical Scottish Terrier) Gus, you were always a sweet and excitable boy, if a little anxious at times. You loved to walk on the lead, which was a nice change from Gus who was never very into that. We didn't even have to train you very much (formally, at least), you always picked things up, almost intuitively. I'll always wish I took you for more walks. I'll always wish I got to take you to the beach, just once, like I always wanted to.

You were always a snuggly little guy. We had many naps together on my bed. Sometimes I'd just sit and watch you snooze because you were so cute. I was always taking pictures of you, hundreds of them. Some I shared with friends online, others I just kept to admire for myself. Quite the photogenic little gentleman! I will treasure those photos much more now.

Sometimes, when I was feeling sad in the night, I would go get you, and bring you up to my room. I'm sure part of you was just happy to be inside on my warm blankets, but it was always an incredible comfort to me, just to have you there in my low moments. An incredibly warm, soothing presence. Even when you were a bit stinky.

I'll miss the funny run up you would do to jump on the couch. I'll miss your smile. I'll miss your nervous panting, when you wanted a drink but didn't want to get off the warm armchair. I'll miss you flailing your limbs whenever we would try to put you on the ground, even though we've never once dropped you. I'll miss how funny you looked getting washed at the car wash doggy bath. I'll miss staying up past midnight watching movies when it was just the two of us, watching the house for the family. I'll miss it all.

Even knowing how loved and cared for you were I can't help but feel like I took you for granted. I feel that now more than anything else. I should have treasured all these moments more! I should have loved you even more, I should have done more to make sure you knew! These are all irrational thoughts, of course - I know you knew you were loved, and that you loved me too.

I never knew it more than when you gently fell asleep in my arms in the vets office, so peaceful and relaxed. I know you felt safe in my arms.

my sweet little maxy. maximoo. maximillian. little old man. stinky. big m. sweet thing... off across the rainbow bridge to join sweet gus.

i will miss you. forever.